“I *%X@#&%* HATE YOU!
“I %X@#& HATE YOU!"
"Why don't you leave me alone and let me go live with people that will understand me?"
I could hardly believe the words that were coming out of my son's mouth!
With missionary friends downstairs in the den hearing it all, why did he have to go off like this tonight?
How did we ever arrive at this place anyway?
Our hearts were being crushed!
Why Would God Allow a Minister's Family to Go Through This Hell?
What Had Happened to Our Boy?
Read on to find out, but first sign up for Paraclete Parenting
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SO, WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR SON?
We had loved Mike from the day he was conceived!
And there was a time when he had actually loved us!
As a child he recited Bible verses, loved spending every moment with Mom and Dad, laughed all the time, and was the joy of everybody who knew him.
Yeah, sure . . . that seemed like ten lifetimes ago now!
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
That's what my wife and I had always believed, but everything we were experiencing now indicated otherwise.
Our son's self-destructive behavior (and our inability to cope with it) was destroying our whole family.
After a couple of years of his increasingly violent rebellion, my wife and I were on the razor's edge. Our physical and emotional health were deteriorating, our marriage was crumbling, and our two younger boys felt like orphans living alone in a war zone!
I can't tell you how many mornings I headed to work in Atlanta hardly able to see the I-20 traffic through my tears. It was truly dangerous!
By the end of the day I was so tense that I could hardly raise my hands high enough to turn the doorknob on my office door. When I got home Sandy had to physically help me off with my coat and tie!
NOBODY EVER TOLD ME THAT PARENTING COULD BE LIKE THIS!
Sleepless Nights. Endless Fights. Broken Hearts. It was unspeakably hard. I was dazed and ashamed.
Fast Forward (Zzzzzzzzzzzzip!)
Today, Mike is an amazing young man!
Happily married and in ministry himself, he is affecting life changes in young people that will be reflected throughout eternity!
The ripple effect on future generations will be something marvelous to behold!
Sandy and I are so proud of him and so grateful to God for getting us through the "Dark Ages"! There were times when we thought they would never end.
Regain Control . . . Bring Back the Peace!
Our hearts are always touched with the feeling of their pain, their confusion, and their fears. We well remember all of those emotions, and it is our joy to share with them the comfort with which God comforted us.
Let us minister to you and your family through our FREE Parenting Newsletter. We will share biblical insights and practical steps that you can use right away to renew your family's calm and joy.
THE TRANSFORMATION
to godly young minister--was not easy and did not come all at once. There were a lot of sleepless nights, horrendous fights, and desperate hours of prayer.
Some nights we feared for Mike's very life . . . and then other nights we felt like taking it from him ourselves!
But God's promises are sure and His Grace is sufficient; and through all these experiences, as awful as they were, we have learned great lessons.
One of the greatest lessons we had to learn is that Mike was not the only one in our family who needed to be "fixed."
There were parenting and communication skills to be mastered by us if we were to stop the freefall we were in.
As we began to learn and apply these skills, an amazing thing happened. Calm returned to our home!
There was peace, order . . . yes, even JOY! We were actually enjoying one another as we hadn't in years!
Did we still have disagreements? Of course! But now we were able to work them out with mutual respect and love.
All of the emotional buttons that we once pushed were now off limits.
If we had a fight, at least it was a "fair fight."
And the kid that wanted to run away and live somewhere else when he was 15?
He decided he would live with Mom and Dad for another 12 years--not leaving home until he was married at age 27!
And, believe it or not, we were delighted to have that time to make up for the years we had lost in the turmoil and pain!
A Personal Message From Dr. Jim Kinnebrew
From the Desk of Dr. Jim Kinnebrew
Dear Anxious Mom & Dad,
Does any of the above scenario sound familiar to you? I promise it all happened to me just as I have told it.
Even as I write this, bitter memories come back to me of the Hell our family went through during those days of trying to deal with a teenage son over whom we had lost all control.
But as I think of what we once suffered, I am also overwhelmed with gratitude for the return of our son and the restoration of our family's deep love and joy!
If you haven't come to the joy stage yet, let me assure you that you can. With God's gracious help and your willingness to learn, you WILL make it there!
But perhaps right now you are in the depths--unable to breathe; unable to think; even unable to pray!
Believe me I've been there.
It was not something I had ever envisioned would happen in our home.
After all, I was a minister. Not only that, but I was a seminary professor who trained others for ministry.
How could my child be such an unholy terror?
How could my family be in such shambles?
Why wasn't Proverbs 22.6 working for me?
The confusion, the guilt, the shame, and the hurt were nearly unbearable. I don't have space here to share with you the comforting truths that relieved us of so much pain, but I hope you will sign up for our FREE newsletter so we can share with you the comfort that God gave to us.
But I know that the real comfort you long for will only come when your situation changes--when Love, Joy, Peace, and all the other "fruits of the Spirit" reign in your house once again.
That's why I want to encourage you to get our FREE Newsletter and then check out the professional help offered by noted physician Dr. Noel Swanson in his helpful parenting handbook, The Good Child Guide.
If your child has been diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, Aspergers, or some kindred disorder, you will find Dr. Swanson's firsthand experience and sound advice especially insightful and helpful. If no such diagnosis has been given to your child, his methods will be even more easily implemented.
What will it mean to you when you can:
- Tell your child what to do and know that it will be done (well, promptly, and with the right heart attitude)?
- Sit down to family dinner and get through the entire meal without a fight?
- Sign your child's report card with pride and not fear that you had brought another "under-achiever" into a world filled with them?
- Answer the question "Is that your child?" without wondering "Oh, Great! What has he/she done now?"
- Send your kids out into the night without the haunting fear that they might not make it back home because of their own bad behavior?
- Pray with your kids and know that they know God has blessed them by placing them in a family like yours?
- Make an unpopular decision and still be treated with loving respect?
- Have your children actually WANT to introduce you to their friends?
- Have your teenager actually WANT to accompany you on the family vacation?
- Be sought out by your child for advice about important issues of life?
It can all happen for you! You can have the family that you dreamed you would have. God is able! You are able! Learn the skills and refuse to be denied!
Learn the skills that we learned with James Lehman's life-altering program TOTAL TRANSFORMATION!
